ALL THE WORDS LEFT UNSAID

there are so many things that we can feel,
but somehow we fail to describe them by words...
there are so many words that we really want to say,
but somehow they're just left unsaid...
and therefore we have a so-called-BLOG :)
so.....here we go!

been really busy with the work recently,
trying to get along with the new environment,
trying (hard) to do my best to finish all the assignments,
and I can say, I kinda like my new place,
I fell in love easily with the children since the first day I met them.

It was quite hard at first, lack of self confidence,
but now I think I start to enjoy it;
teaching, taking care of children, and all that stuff,
but honestly I have to say that I don't like "dealing with the parents"...
for me that is the hardest part of being a teacher.

and...I realize that there's something that I really miss...
been drowning myself in work, keeping myself busy everyday...
at first I thought you wouldn't take notice of it,
but then you asked me why I disappeared...
I told you I was busy. and that was the truth.
but now I honestly tell you, I was also trying to forget the past,
not to forget you, but to forget the part of me who used to want you so bad,
because I know that it will never come true.

you know what, being in love with someone is really exhausting,
the more you get closer with him, the more you're gonna be addicted,
you want him, you miss him, you get jealous even with no reason,
and you start wasting your time thinking of him, such an idiot!

so, I turned away, I met someone new at work and started having a crush on him,
he's a good guy who loves children and I kinda feel like having a brother,
but well, I think I easily become a fan of any smart and funny guy T.T

but, it turns out that having a crush on someone else doesn't make me forget you.
at all. it can't replace all the memories I have with you.
being with you is like having a best friend,
being with you makes me believe that I'm never alone,
and I need it so much more rather than having a so-called boyfriend.
I don't know what you think of me, but to me, you mean a lot.

maybe one day you will meet other girl and you will turn away...
thank God now I'm quite an expert of letting go :)
I know nothing lasts forever, but I wish you could stay longer.

I...err...what should I say? can't find the right words to say this.
I know you don't like it if I call you Sweetheart :P
I just...want to thank you for everything, you know who you are :))