HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY, MAMMOTH PURBA! :D

Posting kali ini gw persembahkan untuk si Mammoth Purba,
yaitu adek gw satu-satunya: Citha Rohtama Cahya Kusumajati.
Kenapa gw panggil dia 'mammoth'? karena badannya besar seperti mammoth.
Fyi, mammoth itu adalah binatang sejenis gajah yang hidup di zaman purba.
Hahahhaha...apaaa??? gw kakak yang jahat menghina adik kandung sendiri??
TIDAK. Karena adek gw itu lebih sadis memanggil gw "babi air" T.T
please deh...mana ada babi yang hidup di air?? dasar mammoth booodooooh!!!

Dan hari ini, 20 Juni 2010, si mammoth ulang tahun ke 17.
Keberadaan si mammoth di dunia ini antara lain berawal dari permintaan gw
dahulu kala, yaitu saat gw merasa pengen banget punya adek.
Ini kisah nyata lho, nama Citha Rohtama itu gw yg bikin buat dia,
waktu itu usia gw 7 tahun, dan gw terinspirasi sandiwara radio "Nini Pelet".
Citha itu nama anaknya Nilam Cahya, salah satu tokoh di situ.
Rohtama itu nama temennya Citha, dan kebetulan Rohtama artinya 'perkasa'.
Dan gw ga nyangka kalo ortu gw bakal pake nama bikinan gw buat si adek.
wakakakakkak..maaf ya mammoth, terpaksa lo menanggung nama aneh itu seumur hidup :DD

Gw berdoa, semoga adek gw ini bisa jadi cowo sejati,
pemimpin buat dirinya sendiri dan Insya Allah buat keluarga...amin.
Tau nggak sih dek, walopun kita sering tendang-tendangan dan toyor-toyoran,
tapi mbak sayaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang banget sama kamu :-*

Akhir kata, inilah foto-foto si mammoth yang selama ini belom pernah dirilis
di media manapun. wahahahaha...selamat menikmati :DD

ALL THE WORDS LEFT UNSAID

there are so many things that we can feel,
but somehow we fail to describe them by words...
there are so many words that we really want to say,
but somehow they're just left unsaid...
and therefore we have a so-called-BLOG :)
so.....here we go!

been really busy with the work recently,
trying to get along with the new environment,
trying (hard) to do my best to finish all the assignments,
and I can say, I kinda like my new place,
I fell in love easily with the children since the first day I met them.

It was quite hard at first, lack of self confidence,
but now I think I start to enjoy it;
teaching, taking care of children, and all that stuff,
but honestly I have to say that I don't like "dealing with the parents"...
for me that is the hardest part of being a teacher.

and...I realize that there's something that I really miss...
been drowning myself in work, keeping myself busy everyday...
at first I thought you wouldn't take notice of it,
but then you asked me why I disappeared...
I told you I was busy. and that was the truth.
but now I honestly tell you, I was also trying to forget the past,
not to forget you, but to forget the part of me who used to want you so bad,
because I know that it will never come true.

you know what, being in love with someone is really exhausting,
the more you get closer with him, the more you're gonna be addicted,
you want him, you miss him, you get jealous even with no reason,
and you start wasting your time thinking of him, such an idiot!

so, I turned away, I met someone new at work and started having a crush on him,
he's a good guy who loves children and I kinda feel like having a brother,
but well, I think I easily become a fan of any smart and funny guy T.T

but, it turns out that having a crush on someone else doesn't make me forget you.
at all. it can't replace all the memories I have with you.
being with you is like having a best friend,
being with you makes me believe that I'm never alone,
and I need it so much more rather than having a so-called boyfriend.
I don't know what you think of me, but to me, you mean a lot.

maybe one day you will meet other girl and you will turn away...
thank God now I'm quite an expert of letting go :)
I know nothing lasts forever, but I wish you could stay longer.

I...err...what should I say? can't find the right words to say this.
I know you don't like it if I call you Sweetheart :P
I just...want to thank you for everything, you know who you are :))

THE BOY WHO WOULDN'T GROW UP

Pernah denger peter pan syndrome?
bukaaaaan...bukan sindrom penggila ariel ataupun sindrom pengen bikin video porno -.-
Pernah denger cerita anak-anak berjudul Peter Pan??
kalo ga pernah denger, coba gunakan google atau tanya toko sebelah T.T

Peter Pan adalah tokoh dongeng yang berwujud anak laki-laki...
dan selamanya dia menjadi ANAK LAKI-LAKI, bukan PRIA (dewasa),
karena dia emang ga mau jadi dewasa.
Peter Pan cuma mau bermain dan bermain...di dunianya: Neverland.
Dan Peter Pan tetap ga mau dewasa bahkan setelah dia bertemu Wendy.
Di akhir cerita, Peter cuma berjanji akan mengunjungi Wendy tiap musim semi.
Wendy: "You won't forget to come for me, Peter? Please, please don't forget".

Dan menurut ilmu psikologi, banyak pria yang mengalami sindrom ini.
Pria yang secara umur udah dewasa, tapi jiwa dan pola pikir masih anak-anak.
Pria yang nggak bertanggung jawab, takut pada komitmen,
pria yang selalu terlihat main-main: "happy-go-lucky person".
Dan jatuh cinta pada pria yang demikian benar-benar merugikan.
Liat aja si Wendy, nunggu sampe lumutan juga si Peter ga akan datang.
Di saat Wendy nyilet pergelangan tangan karena kecewa,
kemungkinan si Peter lagi asik nge-date sama Tinker Bell.
wahahahha...oke, gw mulai mengarang bebas :P

However, I'm gonna tell you something...
sometimes I kinda feel like Peter Pan...
because growing up means being mature...
being mature means you have to be ready to solve any problems...
being mature means: even if you cry, nobody is responsible to cheer you up,
nobody will give you balloon or candy...
being mature means taking responsibilities, making decisions...
being mature means dealing with reality...
being mature means falling in love and getting hurt...

Sometimes, being mature just sucks.

(AGAINST) THE RULES OF LIFE

“Sorry we can't do this,
So sorry we can't do that,
Who make these rules and these policies?
Are they so good, are they so great?
Thank you, thank you for making these life feel so grounded…
Go to school, go to college
And get yourself a real job
These are the rules you have to live
And you have to deal with”
("Rules and Policy" by Monkey To Millionaire)

Posting blog gw kali ini apaan ya? Bener-bener random…
Lagi ga jelas nih gw, ngerasa labil di umur yang harusnya udah dewasa.
Kalo lagi di jalan, dulu kan biasanya gw twitteran, tapi akhir-akhir ini gw lagi suka menikmati macet sambil “mikir” dan lama2..zzzzzzzzzzz ketiduran -.-“
Apa yg gw pikirin? Tentu aja tentang harga cabe keriting yg terus melambung.
Wakakak..ya enggak lah..gw mikirin tentang hidup gw.

28-29 Mei yang lalu kakak gw akhirnya menikah. Sebelumnya sih gw ngerasa biasa aja. Tapi pas akad nikah, waktu mulai ucapan ijab kabul, gw jadi terharu dan merinding. Udah hampir nangis tuh, tapi tiba-tiba keponakan kecil gw tereak-tereak manggil nama kakak gw. Terus keponakan yang satu lagi sibuk nanyain make-up kakak gw: “Itu mbak Ayik kepalanya pake apa? Bibirnya pake apa?” :DDDD

Kakak gw udah masuk ke fase selanjutnya dalam kehidupan manusia. Tau kan soal “rules” yang entah sejak kapan tertulis dalam hidup manusia?

LAHIR>>SEKOLAH >>KULIAH>> KERJA>>NIKAH>>PUNYA ANAK>>PUNYA CUCU>>MENINGGAL.

Kadang gw ngerasa ngejalanin hidup gw dengan melawan aturan-aturan yang ada.

Gw dilarang bokap make jilbab, gw malah pake. Yang laen rebutan masuk IPA, gw malah milih IPS. Disuruh UM UGM, gw keukeuh milih Unpad. Bukannya kuliah ekonomi, gw malah ngambil Sastra Jerman. Bukannya nyari kerja di Deplu atau Kedubes, gw malah jadi guru preschool. Gw juga beberapa kali suka sama yang berbeda agama, dan itu jelas2 menyalahi aturan.

Dan kalo gw ngikutin aturan baku kehidupan, harusnya sekarang ini gw lagi repot nyari jodoh, berpikir untuk nikah dan punya anak kayak cewek2 lainnya. Toh gw udah lulus kuliah, udah kerja…selanjutnya tinggal nikah kan?? Apalagi keluarga dan saudara2 udah mulai nanyain “kapan nyusul kakak nikah?” -.-

Tapi apa yang gw lakukan?? Gw malah pindah kerja ke negeri antah berantah. Haha, lebay…ga segitunya juga sih. Tapi yang jelas gw memulai segalanya dari nol lagi.

Boro-boro deh mikir soal nikah. Hidup gw sendiri aja belum beres.

Bulan-bulan sebelumnya mungkin gw lagi ngerasain jatuh cinta dsb. Tapi sekarang, prioritas gw udah bergeser. Dan ini bukan soal kecewa atau patah hati. Ini soal…apa ya…berusaha menetralisir perasaan dan fokus ke hal-hal lain yang lebih nyata wujudnya dibanding cinta yang bener2 abstrak.

Dan gw nggak akan seperti orang-orang yang buru-buru nikah cuma karena “panas” liat orang lain nikah, or even worse, nikah karena deadline umur. Buat gw, yang udah ngerasain sendiri hidup di keluarga “broken home”, dengan orang tua yang cerai, gw sadar banget kalo pernikahan itu nggak mudah. Dan semoga, suatu saat nanti kalo tiba waktunya, gw akan menjalaninya dengan orang yang bener-bener tepat. Amin.

* for those who think of breaking the rules and want to live on your own way, check this out! "Rules and Policy" (Monkey To Millionaire) ^^